My god, I'm so sorry (Soulmark AUInfinity War spoilers)
by HolmesSlice
Summary: Fiona meets her soulmate and the five words that spring to her mind is "My god, I'm so sorry." (Soulmark AU, takes place after the events of Infinity War and future Avengers 4)


**All rights reserved to respective owners.**

 **Author's Note:** **This story takes place post-Infinity War and the future Avengers 4 movie. I don't have any plot theory set in stone. I decided to keep it nebulous concentrating only on a few facts. The story takes place after the events of Avengers 4-the details are not too relevant to this story. The idea is that while time travel might be involved in the battle itself the rest of the world continues eight years later living its life. People who turned to ash (and sent to the soul world have not aged when they return). As always, please read and review.**

 **My god, I'm so sorry**

 **Part One - "This calls for whiskey."**

It was a typical Gallagher day. The mechanics of a typical day varied significantly over the days, but almost always there were two components involved: chaos and drama. Sean had told her that chaos followed her around.

Fuck Sean. Fuck Sean and his relapse. Fuck him and his chaos.

The chaos that Sean and herself had come out of was nothing compared to what they had gone through those eight years ago. The newspapers were claiming that it was the apocalypse. It was one chaos she had not started or been involved, directly or not. So Sean could fuck right off.

Those years were anguish. Fiona didn't like thinking about how dismal those years were. No one in her neighborhood had understood what had happened. Only that one day they were all here, and suddenly Fiona had fewer siblings. It was a pain that she never wanted to feel again. It hit too close to when Fiona nearly killed Liam because of the cocaine she left lying around.

Eight years had passed, and her siblings returned as if nothing had happened. They had stayed the same age, but she had eight years of pain, anguish, fear, and panic.

She looked around her apartment thinking of everything she had experienced. She remembered when she tried to help that guy's family after he'd fallen off the roof. This was what she got for trying to do the right thing, for trying to be a decent person and help someone else out. They tried to steal her apartment building from her. They had painted her as "the man," "the evil slumlord," even though she had lived their life.

She knew the life of wondering when the next meal was going to come (hence the creation of a squirrel fund, learning how to steal from the grocery store, and how to hustle people of their money).

She knew of living in a car ("a trip around the States is going to be so much fun" leading to Monica having a break down near a cemetery on the 171 screaming about how the brevity of life, death, the cosmos and that she was a good mom who made Fiona even more scared. She was afraid of her mom, but she was more scared for Ian and Lip, who needed their dinner.)

She knew of parents who were living paycheck to paycheck. Fiona groaned as she went on to clean a vacant apartment realizing that Rodney was likely the spitting image of Frank, using workplace injuries to get worker's comp or in this case a lawsuit. It seemed that deep down she wanted to believe in the best of people, especially men like Rodney and Frank. Because, well, if they did right then there was a chance for the rest of the world would.

So much had changed in the Gallagher household yet so little before the disaster struck. After the Avengers resolved the catastrophe, well, that was still something she was navigating.

Debbie had this dreamlike view of the world. She'd always have these expectations that seemed so hinged on nearly impossible things happening. Debbie believed that she'd have the happily ever after when she did everything she could do to get pregnant. Then there was the 'my life is going to be set' when pursuing a welding career. Then Debbie dealt with the amputated toes that Fiona was thankful had not gone gangrene, here and wherever Debbie had gone.

Fiona didn't mind the dreams. She didn't. However, when she pursed her lips and stared at Debbie through a haze of nostalgia, a bit of fear would form in her stomach. These dreams seemed a bit too grand, a bit too black and white that reminded her of Monica's dreams and promises.

Of course, Debbie wasn't Monica, but she was one-half Monica, wasn't she? Even so, when Debbie had been, rescued for lack of a better term, Fiona couldn't stop hugging her. Debbie was now reeling after seeing Franny as a little girl rather than the toddler she remembered.

Carl had the most change that gave Fiona whiplash. There was a part of her that could happily and hoarsely say in her mind that she was glad Carl did not become a serial killer. Yes, it was years ago, but when Carl gave a go at the gang life, Fiona was worried.

Carl still showed so much promise. He reminded Fiona of Frank in many ways. As much of a deranged derelict Frank had always been, he seemed to have been much more functional before meeting Monica. Fiona cringed as she thought about Carl's girlfriend, Kassidi. She was quickly becoming Carl's own Monica before the disaster struck. Carl didn't wait for Kassidi. He seemed to relish a bit in the fortune that feel fell in his lap. He continued to go to military school then moved on to serve also allowing him to study as well. When Kassidi returned she threatened bodily harm because Carl had moved on rather than pause his own life but Kassidi couldn't change Carl's mind. Fiona was proud of Carl breaking it off so that he could concentrate on his studies.

Lip had been better then he had in years. He had inherited the addiction that pursued Frank with his series of bad decisions. Lip seemed determined to put on an air of invulnerability despite being expelled from university, despite ending up in AA, despite all of the bad decisions and bad results. However, it was the death of Youens that made Lip change. Lip was juggling work at the shop and school determined to pursue robotics which had become a passion of his.

Fiona only hoped that Liam would grow up with more potential since he had been attending school. The school that had expelled him welcomed him back all those years later when he returned. Lip must have written a damn good essay Fiona thought.

Liam was attending a great elementary school on a scholarship. When the tragedy happened, the school shared their condolences. Fiona hysterical in her grief made the school give her in writing that Liam's tuition would be covered not only through elementary school but their middle and high school as well. Yes, it seemed ridiculous at the time, but Lip understood. That paper represented the hope that their siblings would return. However, never one to miss an opportunity Fiona demanded one for Franny as well so that she could be close to where Liam had studied.

The one benefit of Liam returning all these later was the fact that he'd gotten away from Frank's machinations, his schemes, and overall bad influence. Frank had vowed to stay out of Liam's and Franny's life. The tragedy struck Frank particularly hard which surprised Fiona.

Ian had been the most like Monica in illness alone. Yes, he had the same mental illness, and it was one that presented itself in such a similar fashion. The depression, the mania, it was such a familiar cycle. However, there was a love that Monica lacked. Ian loved deeply. He felt for others deeply. Sometimes his illness exaggerated his approach or message, but deep down Ian did it out of love.

When Ian had returned from where he had been with Debbie, and Liam, he had found Trevor and asked him for his hand in marriage. Trevor laughed and accepted. No time like the present.

Life carried on because that was all they could do.

Fiona looked around the restaurant with strained nostalgia. Sure she still managed it, but it had been ages since she had worn the outfit and waitressed. Sierra had called in a complete panic because the flu had taken its toll on a number of the staff. Fiona went to work having Sierra call in the afternoon staff early. She had also called Lip hoping that he could help with bussing the tables and maybe being a dishwasher, thankfully he said he could.

Fiona had noticed the men come into the restaurant. One of the men, the shorter one with the goatee, was immediately distinguishable. She frowned wondering why on earth would Tony Stark and company ever step in a restaurant like this.

"Sierra, Lip," Fiona rushed over, noticing that they had been seated in her section, "Why the fuck do we have Tony Stark in our restaurant?"

"Holy shit," Lip said completely dumbfounded, "maybe he decided to slum it outside his mansion?"

"Whatever it is," Fiona said, "I don't trust it, make sure everything is perfect so that they can eat, then get the fuck out. It's going to be a shit storm on social media, I can feel it."

Fiona was unaware of how those words were going to bite her in the ass.

"Well the service fits the theme of the place," Tony said looking up from the menu.

"How can I be of service, Mr. Stark," Fiona said with false sweetness, already hating the man, "might I take your drink order first?"

"Yes, ma'am," blonde one with the neat hairstyle and beard said to Fiona making her scream on the inside "do not talk to him."

"I will take a black coffee with cream and sugar on the side," Tony answered.

The man with the long, disheveled hair smiled with a forlong look that made Fiona ache, "I guess I can take the orange juice, carafe if you please."

"I will take a milkshake actually," the blonde who could be Fiona's soulmate said, "I am feeling a bit bold so maybe surprise me?"

Fiona turned to Tony, "I will bring your drinks in a jiffy."

'In a jiffy,' Fiona groaned as she entered the kitchen, 'What the fuck.'

Fiona went back to the kitchen where Lip was washing dishes. She had walked into an awkward conversation between him and Sierra. Fiona knew that Lip had ended it years ago with Sierra because he wanted to do right. Sierra had been angry at first but soon came to appreciate the effort. They were now going slow with their relationship.

"I know there's a lot between you two, but I need a major fucking favor," Fiona said in a rush, "Sierra you cover Stark's table. I cannot go back. Cover for me, lie, do whatever but they cannot know. I'll explain later."

"Sure thing," Sierra said completely confused as she went to fill the drink orders and continue to take their meal orders, peeking through the window, "Holy shit that's Captain America, and Tony Stark, and wait, that dude from the news?!"

"Oh fucking shit," Fiona said wanting to hyperventilate. She felt the sudden ridiculous urge of making Cap's drink order special, "Wait one second."

She searched terms milkshake, origin, and settled for the Wikipedia entry skimming down to the 1940s. "Tell the Cap that we made one 'burn down all the way' which is, uh, basically chocolate malt and chocolate ice cream. I'm sure he'd appreciate it?"

"On my way," Sierra smiled, taking note to remember the odd lingo.

"I need a moment in the office first though," Fiona told Lip, "Meet me outside the back in about ten."

Ten minutes had gone by much too quickly. Fiona bummed a cigarette off Lip as she huff and paced in the alley. Lip had watched her have what look like an anxiety attack.

"So mind telling me what we're doing outside?" Lip said getting to the point.

"I think Captain America is my fucking soulmate," Fiona said with complete anguish, "but that can't be possible, right? Someone like him can't be saddled with someone like me like that'd be such a huge cosmic joke, right? Fuck me..."

Lip stayed silent a little while contemplating what Fiona had told him. What had been the odds that Captain America of all people was Fiona's soulmate. Though additionally who said 'yes, ma'am' now days much less in this neighborhood?

"So what's your plan?" Lip asked.

"You don't think I'm crazy?" Fiona asked with upturned eyebrows; her eyes strained from the stress.

"Well on the off chance he is your soulmate," Lip asked, "How do you feel about it."

"How do I feel? Five words come to mind when I think about this 'My god, I'm so sorry," Fiona finished with a hoarse laugh.

"I can't argue with that," Lip said looking toward the end of the alley, "Anyone saddled with us is definitely in for a shock."

"That's the thing though," Fiona continued, "what do I bring to the table? I'm not even talking about low self-esteem, okay, but seriously though."

Fiona stopped and dropped the butt of the cigarette. She stomped on it and twisted, watching as she tore up it up with her foot. She held out her hand and felt Lip place another cigarette in her hand. It was a multiple-cigarette kind of situation.

"So we're taught that soulmates are strengths and weaknesses, yin and yang and other bullshit," Fiona took a long puff of her cigarette, "so tell me what could I possibly offer those other women couldn't? The universe fucked up here."

"I honestly don't know," Lip said taking a drag of his cigarette, "I mean look at Karen and me. How the hell did I end up being her soulmate? We were both so chaotic that being together broke her and nearly broke me. Maybe there's some truth to the idea of reincarnation? Maybe we were meant to be together this lifetime, but the bullshit and progress of this one helps a future one? Maybe she wasn't my soul mate or was one to the version of me that struggled with addiction? I've only been sober for eight years of my life since being a teen. Fuck if I know Fiona."

Fiona decided early on that Sierra would attend Fiona's section for the rest of the time they were there. With Sierra beaming ear to ear, it was easy enough to use that as an excuse. Fiona swatted Lip on the shoulder as they entered the restaurant as he gave her shit for possibly being Captain America's soulmate.

Fiona flopped a rag onto her shoulder and walked to Sierra's section seeing Steve sitting alone in the booth utterly confused by the antics that must have taken place moments before.

"Stark just bolted inside and gave that couple like a thousand bucks to move a different table," Sierra said frazzled, "and made him sit in it alone. Like a time out?"

Fiona could feel her insides freeze. Stark must have heard her conversation with Lip. Couldn't Stark see the reason and logic behind what she felt? She felt this exhausted anger bubble deep inside her with Sean's faint voice mention chaos again.

Fiona hadn't noticed that she was staring intently down at Steve who was looking concernedly back at her.

Fiona hadn't noticed her lips move in a downward motion and the telltale signs of an outburst coming.

She looked at Steve. Steve looked back up at her.

"Fuck Stark."

Steve's eyes widened considerably. Fiona stumbled back nearly into the couple behind her who were grumbling about not ordering a side of ass. She meekly turned to them and apologized.

Instead of turning back to face Steve like an adult, and rejecting him so that he could live his life, she ran.

Fiona ran back to her apartment complex. Fiona ran into Ford who smiled but began to question about her general being of okay when Fiona only smiled and started to laugh hysterically. Nessa peaked her head outside her apartment door and noticed Fiona.

"This looks like this needs a bottle of wine," Nessa shouted.

"No," Fiona replied, "So much fucking whiskey."


End file.
